


Their Biggest Secret

by Dburger



Category: iCarly
Genre: Drama, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2014-01-13 13:29:04
Rating: T
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,773
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9816029/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4976373/Dburger
Summary: Sam and Freddie are hiding their relationship from Carly. The secret eventually is let out by none other than Gibby, and they flee to the first place Sam thinks to go: Canada.





	1. The Last Day of School

**A/N: I have read iCarly fanfics about Sam and Freddie hiding the fact that they're dating from Carly, and then they "talk" it out with Carly and make up. I decided to write my own. Was listening to some garage music and oddly enough it gave me some inspiration for this story ;)**

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider probably wouldn't have dreamed of this happening.**

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_**Their Biggest Secret Chapter 1**_

It wasn't a surprise that Sam Puckett had and kept secrets. She was a teenage girl, afterall. The thing was that most teenage girls didn't keep a secret of such large proportions, and not from their best friend.

At first, Freddie didn't understand that Sam showed affection through insults, and when her "insults" became more flirtatious, he took a chance and asked her out. Much to his surprise, she happily accepted. The question was, would Sam and Freddie tell their longtime best friend Carly Shay that they were in a relationship?

"Well, should we?" Freddie asked his girlfriend as they walked to their lockers at Ridgeway Junior High School.

"Carly'll be mad at us in the end, but I don't think we should." Sam said.

"I was thinking the same thing." Freddie responded. "Alright, here's our first test."

"Hey, guys." Carly chirpped, dialing her combination. The three knew each other's combinations, even though Sam thought it was stupid.

"Sup, Carls?" Sam said as Freddie smiled.

"Nothing much, but how is Freddie touching you without you slapping him?" Carly asked, and Sam quickly removed her hand from Freddie.

"Uh, I must be losing it." Sam said in an irritated tone, promptly slapping Freddie's cheek.

"Ow!" Freddie shouted, rubbing his bruised cheek. Sam rolled her eyes.

The bell for the last period of the day rang.

"We'd better get to class." Carly said, starting to walk toward the classroom.

"Whatever. After this, we're done with high school anyway." Sam said as she followed.

Sam and Freddie sat next to each other in the classroom, and held hands under the desks. Freddie had a brief moment when he came across gum stuck to the bottom of the desk, but if they had something to enjoy in the class, it was each other's company. Carly was sitting next to Sam.

"Puckett! Benson!" No PDA in my classroom!" Mr. Howard shouted.

"It wasn't PDA, Howard. We aren't even going out." Sam quickly responded. Gibby gave them a look.

"Then why were you holding hands under my desks?" Mr. Howard asked.

"Poor wittle Fweddie was scared of you!" Sam said in a baby voice.

"Of me? And why'd you have a dreamy smile on your face?" Mr. Howard interrogated. Sam was actually daydreaming about marrying Freddie one day, and her notebook told the same story. This was another one of her secrets.

"Sam Puckett doesn't do dreamy, and he's scared of you because...because you're you!" Sam shouted.

"Alrighty then, but no funny business." Mr. Howard said, eyeing Sam and Freddie.

Sam and Freddie proceeded to touch legs for the rest of the class.

"Remember to read!" Mrs. Briggs shouted as the students ran out of the school looking forward to their break.

"Freddie!" Carly called. "Wanna walk home with me?"

"Can't, Sam has detention." Freddie replied, hoping she'd 'forget' that there wasn't any detention on the last day of school.

"Alright...see you when you get back to my apartment." Carly said, beginning her walk home.

"Hmm...maybe I should pick some food up for them." Carly thought.

"Ugh, my hair!" Carly said as she dug out her workbook to cover her head from the sudden cloudburst. "I spent 90 dollars yesterday on this!"

**_-Meanwhile back at School-_**

"You up for some making out at your place, nub?" Sam asked as she came out of the school.

"Shoosh, yeah. Had to fib to Carly, though." Freddie said. "I told her you had detention, hoping that she'd forget that they don't have detention on the last day, and she bought it. Now we just have to wait until she gets back to her apartment."

"Nobody says fib anymore, Frednub." Sam rolled her eyes. "Decent lie."

Sam moved to hold his hand, but Freddie tore his hand away.

"And I thought you were better at keeping secrets." Freddie smirked. "We can't hold hands here, Sam."

"Shuddup, Fredward." Sam turned her head, but Freddie knew she was blushing.

"Alright, we should be able to leave now." Freddie checked his PearPhone.

"What are we waiting for, Freddumb?" Sam asked. "Let's get going!"

"Oh, great. It starts raining as soon as we leave." Freddie groaned.

"It's only rain, nub. You can't use a book or something to cover your nubby head with?" Sam suggested.

"You know you love my hair, especially since you run your hands through it every time we make out." Freddie said, causing Sam to blush again. "At least I can thank Mrs. Briggs for something." Freddie pulled out his workbook and a rubber band, strapping it to his head.

"Cool invention, Fredweird." Sam snickered.

Freddie rolled his eyes, but stopped in his tracks when he noticed Carly walking out of B.F. Wangs.

"Chiz!" Freddie whispered. Sam and Freddie ducked behind a nearby dumpster. Freddie peeked above the dumpster to see Carly staring at him.

"AHHHH!" Freddie jumped back. "Uh...hey Carly."

"I thought you said Sam had detention..." Carly said.

"Knowing Sam, she got the teacher to leave the room and snuck out." Freddie shrugged.

"Oh, alright. Well, come on." Carly motioned for them to follow her.

Freddie gave Sam a "that was close" look, and Sam rolled her eyes. He knew that Sam agreed with him though, and hoped that he'd get rewarded for his lie.

After they made it back to Apartment 8-C, they ate at the Shay's kitchen table. Spencer was at the junkyard looking for parts to make a new sculpture. Sam and Freddie absentmindedly held hands under the table.

"Uh...guys?" Carly inquired. "Why are you guys holding hands again?"

"Oh, I got scared of something on the TV." Freddie said quickly.

"But we didn't watch any TV..." Carly reminded.

"Uh..."

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**A/N: Just testing this out. Let me know what you think :) Things should get messy in the coming chapters. Alright, I have a P&F request to fulfill, and I have another Felanie oneshot in progress. See y'all later.**

**~G**


	2. Secret Revealed

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider has a lot more money than I do.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, guys!**

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_**Their Biggest Secret Chapter 2**_

"Uh..." Freddie stammered.

"...We watched something at school and Fweddie weddie got scared." Sam jumped in, desperately hoping that Carly would buy it.

"Okay..." Carly said, giving Sam and Freddie an odd look. "Do we need to take you to a doctor, Freddie?"

"No, I'm fine." Freddie assured, briefly glancing at Sam. "Sam, you've got sauce all over your face."

"Well get it off, Freddumb!" Sam retorted. Freddie gently wiped her mouth with a napkin. Carly thought this also was odd, but shook it off.

"Alright, we need to start rehearsal. I'll need to take a wazz and I'll be up. Hopefully Gibby comes while I'm in there." Carly said. Sam and Freddie went upstairs, straight into another makeout session.

"Kiss me, Fredward." Sam commanded. Freddie obliged, smashing his lips into his girlfriend's. Sam kissed back immediately, grabbing Freddie's shoulders. Freddie's hands found her waist.

Little did they know, Gibby made it to the apartment, went upstairs, and watched through the studio door, gasping. He then ran off as quietly as possible, fearful that Sam would pummel him when they broke apart.

"FREDDIE!" Gibby yelled, deliberately sticking his hand down the sink hoping he would come downstairs. "My arm's stuck!" He hoped that Sam wouldn't pummel him for breaking them apart either.

"What now?" Freddie said to Sam after they reluctantly broke apart.

"My arm's stuck in the garbage disposal!" Gibby shouted.

"Ugh...coming!" Freddie rolled his eyes in annoyance. Freddie took the elevator back downstairs.

"Thanks, Fred." Gibby said, walking into the elevator with Freddie. He then stopped it, and Freddie threw him a "what gives?" look.

"Uh...are you and Sam...dating?" Gibby questioned. Freddie's eyes went wide. "I saw you kissing in there."

"Fine. Yeah, we are, but you can't tell anyone!" Freddie said.

"Your secret's safe with me." Gibby winked and nodded his head, restarting the elevator. They soon were in the studio again.

"Sam, could you help me with these cables?" Freddie questioned, positioning his laptop on the tech cart.

"Sure, Fredward." Sam said, walking over to him and plugging in the cables. Sam checked to make sure Carly and Gibby weren't looking and gave Freddie a quick kiss on the cheek. Freddie smiled and whispered in her ear.

"Wanna come to my apartment after this?" Freddie asked.

"You bet, Frednub." Sam whispered back, smiling.

Following the rehearsal, Sam and Freddie retreated across the hall.

"Hey, Gib? Can I ask you something?" Carly started.

"Sure, lay it on me." Gibby said.

"Do you think there's something going on between Sam and Freddie?" Carly asked. "They've been acting...weird lately."

"Oh, surely they're not dating." Gibby said.

"You must know something." Carly narrowed her eyes, and Gibby ran for his life.

"Come back here, Gibby!" Carly picked up a wooden spoon from the sink. Gibby eventually ran up the stairs to the hallway where the studio was and was cornered.

"Tell me what you know about Sam and Freddie." Carly menacingly commanded, raising the spoon.

"Er...nothing?" Gibby hoped to get out of this.

"Don't give me that. Tell me." Carly pressed.

"Uh...Sam and Freddie are kinda...dating..." Gibby admitted. Carly's face became red with anger.

"For how long?" She asked darkly.

"I don't know, honest!" Gibby held his hands up in defeat. "I saw them making out in the studio while you were in the bathroom before the rehearsal."

"They're probably at his apartment doing it all over again!" Carly realized, running off leaving a frightened Gibby.

Carly ran between the two apartments hall and pounded on Freddie's door.

"SAM! FREDDIE! OPEN UP! I KNOW YOUR SECRET!" Carly yelled.

"Who'd you tell?" Sam sighed, releasing Freddie.

"Gibby..." Freddie conceded.. "I should've known that he couldn't keep a secret."

"OPEN THIS DOOR!" Carly shouted from the hallway.

"Why'd you have to tell _Gibby_ of all people?" Sam groaned.

"I thought he could keep a secret for once!" Freddie defended.

"Really?" Sam rolled her eyes.

"Well, what do we do?" Freddie questioned.

"We could run off to Canada or something, or tell her everything, which is probably what you were thinking." Sam and Freddie weighed their options.

"Going to Canada might not be the best choice, but Carly, Spencer, and even my own mom could get angry at us." Freddie reasoned.

"So, you want to go to Canada?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Maybe..." Freddie smiled. "I had that chip in my head removed."

Then, the pounding on the door ceased.

"Is she gone?" Sam asked, and Freddie got up to look through the peephole.

"Yup, no one's out there." Freddie responded, breathing a sigh of relief.

Freddie looked at the knob and back at the peephole when he heard the lock jiggling and finally click into the unlocked position. Carly threw the door open just as Freddie backed away, threw the bobby pin she used to pick the lock aside, and stared at Freddie with anger in her eyes and a red face.

"TELL. ME. _EVERYTHING!_" Carly screamed.

"Quick, pack your stuff." Sam whispered. Freddie wasted no time and hastily removed an emergency suitcase and retrieved their ID's and driver's licenses, while Sam collected the electronics and scribbled out a note for Crazy. They were already in a bag from the rehearsal.

Sam ran to the window where the fire escape was located, opened it, and motioned for Freddie to follow. Sam jumped out of the window and started making her way down the steps, with Freddie at her heels. They both leaped onto the ground.

"Let's run to my apartment's storage unit!" Freddie shouted. "I've got a car in there we can use to get out of here."

"Say no more, Fredward!" Sam shouted, jogging into the storage units of Bushwell. They could hear the steps clanging, and they had no doubt that Carly was hot on their tail.

Sam quickly picked the lock to the unit, swung the gate open, and uncovered the car waiting inside. It was a small, old 2 seat Italian sports car with the engine located behind the cabin. Freddie opened the driver's door to pop the engine compartment, quickly locating the spare keys while his girlfriend hooked up the battery.

The car's 4 cylinder engine roared to life, and Sam slid into the passenger's seat. Releasing the clutch, the car moved out of the unit and he drove right past Carly, still red in the face, and still with her spoon in hand. Carly gave chase, but Freddie headed toward the main road. Unfortunately, he had to stop for traffic to clear before turning onto the street.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Carly screamed from outside. Freddie drove onto the main road before either of them gave an answer. Sam and Freddie were now on the run.

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**A/N: Fun chapter to write...hope I didn't rush the beginning though. Drop a review if you would, please! Working on responding to my reviews more. **


	3. No Turning Back

**A/N: Guest: They're freaked because they were reluctant to possibly lose their friendship with Carly, but wanted to stay in a relationship. Sorry if you don't think running to Canada is believable.**

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**Disclaimer: I'm not even sure there was an in car scene in iCarly at all, and therefore I don't own the series.**

**_Their Biggest Secret Chapter 3_**

The Italian sports car drove along the interstate on the outskirts of Seattle. Sam's phone rang and she chose to answer.

"Sam?" Spencer asked from the other line.

"Sup, Spence?" Sam answered.

"You wanna tell us where you went? Everybody's worried sick, and the police won't track you guys because you're technically adults." Spencer said.

"We don't want to be tracked right now." Sam said. "We feel bad about leaving you guys like this, but you need to accept our relationship."

"Well, nobody is, including me!" Spencer said.

"Which is why we left, Spence." Sam rolled her eyes.

"Can you at least come back so we can work this out?" Spencer pleaded.

"Nope, we're taking some time off." Sam declared.

"Okay...any idea when you'll be coming back?" Spencer pressed.

"Haven't even talked about it yet." Sam informed.

"One more try...can you please come back?" Spencer begged.

"No, Spencer." Sam hung up the phone.

"Who was it?" Freddie asked, changing to the left lane.

"Spencer. He kept asking for us to come back, but I told him no." Sam said. "I just want to spend time with you."

"Isn't that sweet?" Freddie snickered.

"Don't call me that." Sam glared.

"Should I call you Sweet Samantha?" Freddie taunted.

"I'll get you for this." Sam growled, but smiled.

"Do you ever think your mom will come looking for us?" Freddie inquired.

"Like that'll happen. Even Melanie would look for us before her." Sam said.

"Where is she now, anyway?" Freddie questioned.

"I doubt she's on her way back to Seattle because we're gone." Sam shrugged.

"My mom's probably fainted at least twice by now." Freddie laughed. "I was surprised she wasn't the first to call."

"Same here. It's nice to get away from her too." Sam chuckled. "You're not that big of a nub when we're alone."

"Thanks, Sam." Freddie grinned.

"Hey...any idea where we're stopping for the night?" Sam asked.

"I don't know." Freddie answered. He as so caught up with leaving, he hadn't thought of lodging. "There should be a map in the glove box."

Sam pulled the map out, unfolded it, and looked at the cities and towns along their route.

"It's cheaper to stop in small towns, but more risky." Freddie added.

"Let's go with a city this time..." Sam decided, "we'll stop in Bellingham."

"Sounds good to me." Freddie said.

"Doesn't seem like there's any cool sights until we get to Canada." Sam said.

"Do you think we should stay in British Columbia?" Freddie asked for his girlfriend's input once again.

"We can tour Canada over the summer..." Sam suggested.

"Now that's a good plan." Freddie smiled.

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**A/N: Decided to make a more mellow chapter after the last one. Go ahead and click or tap that review button until your finger is tired!**


	4. iBuy an RV

**A/N: Tweeted that I was sick all weekend, but I'm feeling almost 100% again. (I also tweet when I start writing new chapters and sometimes sneak peeks). On with the new chapter, and thank you all for the reviews, favorites, and follows!**

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"You didn't bring any weapons, did you?" Freddie rolled his eyes. They were about to cross into British Columbia.

"No, Fredward. All I brought was what we were able to pack." Sam responded. "We'll get in without any problems."

"If you say so, Sam." Freddie said. He drove up to the border, and rolled the window down to talk with the guard.

"We're gonna run a scanner across your car to make sure there are no weapons, and then you can head on in." The guard stated. He scanned the car, confirmed there were no dangerous objects, and they entered Canada.

"Hey, is that an RV for sale?" Sam questioned, looking to her right.

"Where?" Freddie asked.

"In that parking lot in that stupid welcome area." Sam said.

"Looks like it, but we won't have enough money for an RV." Freddie replied.

"Can we at least look at it?" Sam begged.

"Alright." Freddie caved. He parked next to the RV and got out along with his girlfriend.

"How much did you bring?" Sam asked.

"One of my aunts just sent me one thousand dollars as a graduation gift, and then I had 500 in one of the bags we packed." Freddie told Sam. "I have a savings account with some cash in it too."

"Can we buy it?" Sam asked.

"What'll happen to the car?" Freddie questioned.

"It comes with a tow bar, dishes and silverware, the bedding was just replaced, and the price is only 1200!" Sam read the paper taped to the inside of the windshield.

"That does sound nice..." Freddie thought.

"Please, Freddie?" Sam used her puppydog face.

"Fine, we'll buy it. You're talking to the seller, though." Freddie said.

"Gimme the cash." Sam responded. Sam took the bag of money inside.

"This thing must be from the 70's." Freddie shook his head, noticing the yellow paint and orange stripes. "Looks like some stuff's been updated..."

His girlfriend walked out with some papers in her hand.

"It's ours, Fredward!" Sam cheered.

"That's great, Sam. Now all we have to do is find a Mallmart parking lot for nights." Freddie said.

"Alright, Freddumb. Let's get this car hooked up so we can get back on the road."

"Sure, Sam." Freddie chuckled. He removed the car's front bumper and attached it to the tow bar, while Sam put the bumper inside the car and hooked up the tow bar's lights.

"I'll drive." Freddie removed the keys from the envelope the seller gave them. Upon entering the RV, Sam plopped onto the bed in the back.

"Sam, I can't drive with you in the bed." Freddie rolled his eyes.

"Nyehhh." Sam grunted, buckling herself into the front passenger's seat next to Freddie.

"Where to?" Freddie asked as the RV neared the parking lot exit.

"Why don't we head up to Vancouver?" Sam suggested.

"Sounds great." Freddie said, checking his mirrors as he pulled out.

"Hmm...looks like the others still want us to come back." Sam informed, reading off her Splashface feed.

"They'd probably try to break us up the second we actually got back." Freddie said.

"Chiz...Carly and Gibby are dating!" Sam said.

"Whoa...never expected that." Freddie nodded.

"Neither did I." Sam replied. "Hey, can we pick up something to eat?"

"We'll be in Vancouver in less than half an hour." Freddie responded. "The MallMart we stop at for the night mighthave a mini Inside Out Burger in it."

"It better." Sam said. "I can hear my stomach gurgling, and I already ate all the food in the suitcase."

"Maybe you should eat at little slower..." Freddie chuckled, earning a slap from Sam. "I deserved that."

"Yup." Sam said.

"Alright, here's the MallMart." Freddie spoke, pulling in. "Go and see if there's a small restaurant in there." He gave his girlfriend some cash, and off she went.

"Car's okay." Freddie checked, and soon Sam jogged toward him with both hands containing food. She set it up on one of the booths inside the RV, and they began to eat.

"Sam, do you like this...new life?" Freddie asked.

"Whatcha mean?" Sam questioned.

"Being on the road all the time and practically living in an RV." Freddie explained.

"It's pretty cool." Sam responded.

"I kinda like it too...and being with you makes it better." Freddie said.

"Quit being a sap, Fredward." Sam rolled her eyes. "I might've been planning on 'doing it' with you tonight, but now I'm having second thoughts."

"I'll shut up..." Freddie said.

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**A/N: Glad you all like this story, and please keep dropping reviews.**

**~G**


	5. Sam in a Hockey Game?

**A/N: Thanks for the awesome feedback! Rating upped to T.**

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_**Chapter cinco**_

"Frednub!" Sam said as she shook her boyfriend's shoulder. "Wake up!"

"Huh?" Freddie groggily replied.

"Get up! We've got a city to tour!" Sam reminded.

"Oh yeah, I'll get dressed." Freddie said.

"Your clothes are right here." Sam pointed to a T-shirt and jeans that were draped over a table.

"You must really wanna get going." Freddie remarked.

"Shoosh yeah I do, so hurry up!" Sam shouted.

Freddie began to undress in front of Sam.

"Not now, Sam." Freddie noticed her staring at his six pack.

"O-of course not, nub." Sam stammered. Freddie smiled.

When he got to his boxers, Sam had to turn away.

"Alright, done." Freddie announced.

"You drive." Sam commanded.

"I figured you'd say that." Freddie said. "Do you have a place to go?"

"There's this cafe with good ratings, and the internet said that they have good eggs." Sam responded.

"Is there a big enough parking lot to put the RV in?" Freddie asked. "We'll probably need to find a camping site from here on out if we want to leave the RV during the day."

"Yeah, there's a big lot about a block away from it." Sam replied. They climbed into the front seats after checking the car and started off.

**_-Meanwhile, in Seattle-_**

"Why'd they leave again?" Gibby inquired.

"They left because we don't like their relationship." Carly answered. "Right?"

"You bet." Marissa said.

"I believe Freddie belongs with Carly," Spencer stated, "but we can't go and find them just because we think he's dating the wrong girl. They're out of high school now, legally adults, and we can't control them anymore." Marissa's face fell.

"My poor Freddie..." Marissa said softly.

"It's alright, Marissa." Spencer comforted her.

Carly just glared into space, wondering what Sam and Freddie were doing.

**_-Back in Vancouver-_**

"This is some good food!" Sam approved as she chewed.

"Sam, you know it's not polite to talk with your mouth open." Freddie rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, nub." Sam responded. "Any meat festivals, stuff like that?"

"There probably won't be any good meat 'parties' until we get to Quebec." Freddie answered.

"What about hockey games?" Sam asked. "We're in Canada now. There's gotta be some."

"There's one on the north side of the city. It's a small day game between two clubs." Freddie answered, looking at his PearPhone. "Do you want to stay and finish?"

"We have an RV, don't we?" Sam said. "I can finish it in there." Sam pointed to the flashy yellow and orange RV parked outside.

"Let me guess, you want another order for 'the road." Freddie assumed, using air quotes as he said 'the road' because they weren't travelling far.

"Alright, let's go." Freddie called for some takeout boxes, paid, and they climbed aboard the RV.

"Where are you going to sit?" Freddie questioned.

"At a table, Fredward." Sam said flatly. "There's seatbelts there."

"Want some silverware?" Freddie offered.

"That would be nice, Fredwuss." Sam accepted. Freddie opened a cabinet for the first time.

"Hey, a photo album!" Freddie said, dusting the old leather scrapbook. He then retrieved some eating utensils for his girlfriend.

"What do the photos look like?" Sam inquired as Freddie gently opened the old book.

"Well, I see a woman in a red bikini sitting on top, with her legs draped over the windshield." Freddie informed. "Then there's a photo where the same woman's sitting right where you are sipping hot sauce straight out of the bottle."

"I should try that." Sam commented. Freddie glared at her. "Alright...not until you're out of sight. Here's one from this seat, and she's giving flipping the bird to the photographer while she's driving!"

"And that must be her husband." Freddie pointed to another photo. "That's a decent mustache."

"Can we...remake that middle finger photo?" Sam asked.

With a roll of his eyes, Freddie pulled out his PearPhone and gave Sam the keys to the RV. Soon they got rolling and were able to take the picture.

"You ready, Freddie?" Sam rhymed.

"I thought you didn't like rhymes." Freddie taunted.

"Just take the picture!" Sam commanded, flipping Freddie the bird. He snapped the picture.

"Done." Freddie announced. "Now hurry up and get to the rink!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" Sam shouted from the front, but smiled.

Soon they made it to the rink, and got into the game no problem.

"Glad I brought my extra bacon in." Sam said, taking a bite.

"We'd like to welcome everyone to our community game today." The announcer said. Surprisngly, the arena was packed, and few seats were left.

After the player names were listed, the game started.

"That guy totally wacked his balls!" Sam laughed.

"This is so aggressive it's almost like lacrosse." Freddie commented.

"Ohhhh! Hit in the head!" Sam clapped. Freddie rolled his eyes.

"Game misconduct penalty for player number 65 on the guest team!" The referee shouted into his microphone, waving his arms. "Off you go!" A misconduct penalty results in the offending player's removal from the rink.

"HEY! THAT'S BULLSHIT!" Sam cried out. Without thinking, she climbed out of her seat, walked down the aisle between the other seats, and flung herself over the transparent barrier onto the ice.

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**A/N: Cliffy! Reviews are always appreciated!**


	6. Brawl

**A/N: Thanks again for the feedback on the last chapter! I don't know too much about hockey, but I did my best. I guess you could call this a prequel to iWin The Lottery/iLive The Good Life.**

**Disclaimer: iCarly didn't have any real curse words in it.**

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_**Chapter Six**_

Sam froze for a second after she landed on the ice. She walked over to the player that was penalized, ripped his hockey stick from his hand, took a pair of skates in a nearby ref's hands.

"HEY, REF!" Sam yelled, putting on the skates. "START THE CLOCK!"

The ref tried to resist but another ref just went with it and restarted the clock.

The home team managed to get the puck first, and Sam stole it when it was on its way to another home team member. Because almost everyone on the team knew her from iCarly and how strong she was, no one on the other team tried to stop her from scoring a goal.

A player on the visiting team obtained the puck first in the next play, and a home team player stole it from him. Sam noticed that the visiting team was anything but happy. A ref called a penalty, and the home team reluctantly gave the puck up.

While waiting for the head ref to give the go-ahead to restart play, a home team member moved forward and hit the puck toward the visiting team's goal with his best shot. It bounced off the left frame tube of the goal, and the home team lunged into the entire visiting team.

"...Shit." Sam muttered.

Most of the players on the home team began hitting the visiting team with their sticks, while a few knocked out the refs. A few fans started rushing to break the fight up, but the majority stayed in their seats in a frenzy, snapping pictures and recording videos. Freddie waved his arms toward the exit, hoping Sam would catch the gesture.

She looked at Freddie, the fighting players for a second, then the knocked out refs and now knocked out security guards, and the exit. Not wanting to add to her criminal record, she rolled her eyes and skated to the rink exit. After she took the skates off and dropped the stick, Freddie was already there waiting for her.

"Quick, let's get outta here!" Freddie said.

"Hold on a sec." Sam held her hand up. She used her foot to prop the door to the hallway open. Using her other hand, Sam picked up her stick, and it slid all the way to the outside exit with a single push.

"Come on, Fredwuss." Sam said.

Sam pouted as they dashed past a snack bar. Freddie gave her a look, assuring her that she'd get some food once they left the property.

They eventually made it out to the parking lot, surprised at the high number of cars. The couple immediately located their bright yellow RV, and headed toward it.

"Whew..." Freddie panted as he shut the side door on the RV. "That was...pretty fun, Sam. Thanks for the hockey game suggestion."

"Don't mention it, Fredward." Sam said. "Now get Mama some food!"

"I will once-" Freddie started, but his eyes went wide as he noticed the very large amount of people that were now flowing through the building's exit. "...And we're leaving."

Freddie was careful not to jacknife the RV and car as he drove through the parking lot, but soon he turned onto the main road.

"Are you buckled up, Sam?" Freddie called.

"Yeah, yeah, Fredward." Sam replied, he looked into the rear view mirror and noticed she was on her PearPhone.

"Any Splashface updates?" Freddie asked in an annoyed tone.

"They're 'commanding' us to come back by the end of the summer now." Sam filled her boyfriend in. "At least that's _some_ progress."

"Didn't we already tell them we'd be back by the end of the summer?" Freddie asked.

"We just said we were taking a summer road trip." Sam winked. "We don't _have_ to come back, but you probably want to go to college."

"You got into that culinary college near MIT, right?" Freddie asked. "Do we have the acceptance letters with us?"

"Surprisingly, Crazy let you keep the letter, and I think it was in the emergency suitcase." Sam answered, smiling as she found the letter.

"Great, now we can go straight to Massachusetts when it's time to leave Canada for school." Freddie grinned.

"Don't ruin our trip, Fredward." Sam glared.

"So you like spending time with me?" Freddie taunted.

"Shut up, Fredward." Sam commanded. "Where are we getting food from?"

"Back at the MallMart. It's getting close to dark, so I'll probably get you a ham for later and we'll get some Inside Out Burger again." Freddie said. He noticed his girlfriend drooling.

"Are you drooling over my muscles or the ham I'm getting you?" Freddie asked with a smug smile etched across his face.

"Bo-the ham." Sam stopped herself.

"So, you were looking at my muscles." Freddie confirmed.

"Didn't I tell you to shut up, Fredward?" Sam reminded.

With a roll of his eyes, Freddie turned on the XM radio, which he knew had to have been installed by a previous owner because of the RV's age. High quality sound blasted through speakers located throughout the RV.

"Good evening, I'm Marvin Brown. Our top story this evening is a riot between two teams at today's community hockey club game." The news anchor said. "We now go to reporter Bonnie Andrews, who is at the local hockey club facility."

"Thanks, Marvin." Bonnie replied. "The fight began when the home team lunged at the visiting team, and both teams began hitting each other with their sticks."

"A few members of the home team knocked all of the referees and security guards unconscious, and some snack bar employees were knocked out after fans began to leave." Bonnie continued. "Both of these teams are out for the season, leaving other teams in the Vancouver Metro Area to fight for the championship."

"I knew this would be on the radio." Freddie said, turning the radio down as Marvin came back on.

"Carly recognized us from the videos that have been posted all over Splashface..." Sam groaned. "She asked if I was okay, and I said yes."

The location of the day's events hadn't been disclosed outside of local news for the privacy of the players, fans, and workers.

"Nice to know she still cares about you, even though she's not being a very good friend." Freddie said.

"Get this, she said 'Freddie will be mine when you come back' in her latest message." Sam informed.

"That'll happen when pigs fly!" Freddie assured. "I don't like her that way anymore."

"That's good to know, Fredward." Sam replied. Freddie pulled into the MallMart parking lot, in the same two back to back spaces they occupied the night before.

"Alright, let's go in and grab something to eat." Freddie said, getting up from the plush driver's seat.

"Carry me." Sam demanded.

"Fine..." Freddie conceded.

"Put me in a shopping cart." Sam commanded. Freddie placed her in a shopping cart and they soon arrived at the meat aisle.

"Ham..." Sam moaned. Freddie removed the Ham from the shelf.

"Hold your horses, Sam. I've still got to get my food." Freddie reminded, taking the ham from his girlfriend and sliding it under his left arm.

Sam grunted, crossing her arms. Freddie pushed the car with his free arm to the indoor Inside Out Burger.

Sam gently placed her ham in the cart as she got out to walk in with Freddie. They found the clerk sleeping, but the cooks were awake. Sam slapped the clerk, and the employees working in the back chuckled. He looked to be in his 50's, as his hair was starting to become gray.

"Hey! We want food here!" Sam shouted to the groggy clerk.

"Wh-what can I get you?" The clerk asked.

"Two double cheeseburger meals, please." Freddie answered, yawning himself.

Surprisingly, a cook brought out two already prepared double cheeseburger meals. Freddie paid, the couple fixed their drinks, and soon they were walking back to the RV.

"This must be his ride." Sam guessed, looking at the rusty regular cab Nissan truck in front of them.

"I didn't know you could duct tape a windshield in..." Freddie said, "...nor did I know that using crates as seats was legal."

"It isn't." Sam confirmed. "My mom tried it and she got a ticket."

"O...kay." Freddie responded. After taking a couple quick pictures of the truck, they retreated back to their motorhome.

"Just letting you know, I'm not up for anything tonight." Sam said as they ate at a table behind the driver's seat.

"Same here." Freddie yawned again. "Maybe we'll watch some TV after we eat and doze off."

"I wonder if we'll be on the eleven o'clock news." Sam pondered.

"I'm surprised you know the news comes on at eleven." Freddie chuckled. "We probably will be."

"Hopefully we don't have any 'encounters' with people tomorrow." Sam said.

"I'm with you on that." Freddie responded.

* * *

**A/N: End of chapter 6! Once again, I am loving the feedback and would greatly appreciate more!**


	7. Leak

_**Chapter Seven**_

"Hey, wanna see an art gallery?" Freddie offered, knowing Sam would decline.

"Nah, sounds dorky and boring." Sam said.

"Doesn't look like we'll stop in Kamloops." Freddie chuckled. He was at the wheel of the RV and they were heading east.

"Who names a city Kamloops?" Sam asked.

"It sounds cool..." Freddie defended. "It's a city full of informative museums and beautiful galleries.

"Only a nub like you would think any of that would be cool." Sam rolled her eyes.

"You know you love it." Freddie smugly looked at Sam in the rearview mirror.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Sam said. Freddie knew why she abruptly ended the conversation. It started to rain, and he turned on the windshield wipers.

"This is easier than I thought..." Freddie murmured to himself. He was slightly nervous about driving the RV in the rain for the first time. Luckily he had checked the daily forecast before they left Vancouver.

"Frednerd! We've got a problem!" Sam shouted from the back of the large vehicle.

"What is it, Sam?" Freddie asked, slightly exasperated.

"The toilet's leaking! I guess the previous owners didn't change the plumbing..." Sam said.

"How bad is it?" Freddie questioned.

"I actually found a mop and cleaned a little up, but it's still leaking." Sam informed.

"Where'd you ring out the mop?" Freddie inquired.

"In the bathtub, Fredward. Just stop and help me with this." Sam said.

"Well, at least we're near Kamloops." Freddie perked up. Sam rolled her eyes as he exited the Trans-Canada Highway. He turned into a MallMart and parked.

"It's coming from the tank thingy." Sam notified.

"Yup, that's cracked." Freddie shook his head.

"I did check the little blurb the owners before us wrote and they did actually change the pipes and stuff." Sam responded.

"At least we won't have to worry about that." Freddie cracked a small smile. He whipped out his PearPhone and looked for a way to fix the crack.

"I'm gonna go get some epoxy from the MallMart." Freddie told his girlfriend.

"I've...got some." Sam replied, sheepishly grinning and holding up a new tube of epoxy and a gun to squirt it with.

"I won't ask." Freddie said, taking the items from Sam. He began to apply the epoxy along the crack, and soon he was finished.

"Finally, a home improvement job you did right." Sam teased.

"Oh, whatever." Freddie rolled his eyes, putting the epoxy equipment away. "We won't be able to take a piss in here until about midnight." His phone beeped.

"In that case, can we take the car and get some decent food?"

"Says there's a B.F. Wangs six miles from here." Sam said.

"In that case, I'll get the car ready." Freddie replied, exiting the RV.

"You do that, Fredwardo." Sam said.

He unhooked the car from the towbar, reattached the front bumper, and hooked up the car's front lights again.

"Come on, Sam!" Freddie called. She locked up the RV, jumped in the car, and they drove off.

"Ahh! My eyes!" Sam acted as if she were in pain because of all the museums and closed her eyes, but immediately stopped when she opened them.

"Fredward. Stop the car." Sam commanded, glancing back at a certain museum she had taken sight of.

"Am I hearing what I think I'm hearing? Sam Puckett is excited about a museum?" Freddie gasped. Sam slapped him.

"Just go back!" Sam said. Freddie did as he was told and soon they were getting a tour through a museum about the history of meat.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked it, and as always I love reading reviews! Haven't been updating as much because I had two cello performances within a week, and I had to practice for about 12 hours over two days for one of them.**


	8. The Ride

_**Chapter 8**_

"So, do you like Kamloops now?" Freddie smirked as Sam drove back to the MallMart. They were going to get a good night's sleep and drive all day to Edmonton.

"We're coming back." Sam said.

"What if I don't want to come back?" Freddie asked.

"Then I'll drag you back. You're the one that wanted to stop here anyway!" Sam replied. Freddie rolled his eyes.

"At least you're not speeding." Freddie responded.

"Because you told me not to, and I'm actually doing what you told me to for once..." Now it was Sam's turn to roll her eyes, but she smiled.

"Just don't wreck the car." Freddie said. Sam ignored him.

"What if we...had our future up here?" Sam shyly asked. "Like after college?"

"What do you mean?" Freddie asked, hoping to get Sam what he thought she'd say.

"You know...get married, have kids, grow old..." Sam explained.

"You've been thinking about our future?" Freddie asked, with a small smug smile on his face.

"Shut up..." Sam said, but after a few minutes of silence she spoke again. "Have you?"

"A few times." Freddie truthfully said. "Are you gonna eat some of the meat you got from the museum for dinner?"

"You bet, Fredward." Sam responded, turning into the MallMart.

"You didn't use your signal!" Freddie observed.

"Whatever." Sam rolled her eyes, parking behind the RV.

"Wanna help me hook this up for tomorrow?" Freddie asked.

"Ugh...fine." Sam conceded. They attached the car to the RV, and Sam reluctantly allowed Freddie to eat some of her meat.

"We should spend a night by a lake looking at the stars." Freddie suggested as he got ready for bed.

"We can go to one of those RV camps and do that." Sam said. Freddie rolled his eyes, dropping the conversation.

"Any...you know...tonight?" Freddie asked, climbing into the bed in the back of the RV.

"Ugh...come here, Frednub." Sam commanded, pulling his face toward hers and passionately kissing him.

Sam slipped her tongue into his mouth and after a while nibbled on his bottom lip, causing Freddie to moan. They then undressed.

"Whatcha doin back there?" Freddie asked his girlfriend. He was driving part of the way to Edmonton, Alberta.

"Eating, since you insisted we'd leave before breakfast and not stop for any!" Sam retorted from a table.

"I'll take you to Pini's in Edmonton." Freddie said, trying to calm Sam down.

"You'd better." Sam said. Freddie could feel her glaring at him.

"Wow, looks like the iCarly fans wanted a reunion video or something, and Carly kinda got stuck without us and couldn't do an episode." Sam said, reading off her PearPhone. "I'm surprised she hasn't changed the password to the website."

"That's because _I_ happened to change it after we left." Freddie smiled, briefly looking behind.

"Good thinking, Fredwuss." Sam replied.

"People drive much worse in Canada..." Freddie mumbled to himself.

"Dude, why are you complaining about drivers?" Sam questioned.

"They can cause a serious accident!" Freddie defended.

"We're in a huge RV. I think we're good." Sam said.

"Trust me, this thing is not huge." Freddie replied.

"A twenty-six foot long RV is not huge?" Sam asked, as if Freddie was dumb.

"I read that the same company that made this RV made forty foot buses at the same time." Freddie informed.

"And how long was the short bus they made?" Sam asked.

"Twenty-nine feet, and no, no 'special' kids rode on them. We're talking city buses." Freddie said.

"At least we have a flashy paint job..." Sam muttered.

"Which gives us even more attention!" Freddie replied. "And the car is really old, which also makes it stick out!"

"It's not my fault your car is old!" Sam retorted.

"Well..." Freddie mumbled.

"Ha. I won again." Sam gloated.

"I win some arguments against you!" Freddie defended.

"When?" Sam inquired.

"Like that time when we were arguing about which way to go this morning. Your phone GPS would've led us to some place in the middle of nowhere!" Freddie said.

"Alright...you've won _some_ of our arguments. Ya satisfied?" Sam asked.

"I was already satisfied when you said you wanted to marry me and have kids with me." Freddie said.

"What-I never said that!" Sam tried.

"Don't be silly, you said it in the car yesterday." Freddie reminded. He could see Sam look down in embarrassment in the rearview mirror.

"Don't worry, I want the same thing." Freddie assured, speaking softly.

"You do?" Sam looked up. They made eye contact in the mirror.

"Yeah, I do." Freddie smiled.

* * *

**A/N: Decided to write a mellow/filler chapter. Reviews are always read, and always appreciated!**


	9. Martha

**A/N: Had exams and writer's block, but now I'm back.**

* * *

"Nub, why am I driving?" Sam asked from the front of the RV. They were still on their way to Edmonton.

"Because it's your turn to?" Freddie shook his head, and Sam rolled her eyes. "Sam, why don't you think Carly, Spencer, and my mom wanted us together?"

"Crazy's reason is obvious." Sam stated popping her gum. "She's worried about me taking you away from her, and we're not even married yet."

"Yet?" Freddie questioned with a smug smile.

"Shut up, Fredward!" Sam snapped. "Spencer's probably changed his mind by now."

"What about Carly?" Freddie asked.

"She probably was jealous." Sam replied. "That would make her suddenly have a 'crush' on you after all those times she rejected you, and she just wanted to have you for herself. She said he was happy for us, and she must've dumped Gibby."

"That is kinda selfish." Freddie agreed.

"You know, I always felt that she was superior to me until you asked me out." Sam confessed.

"I could tell." Freddie said. "That's what finally gave me the courage to ask you out all of a sudden. To be honest, I didn't think you'd accept."

"Well I'm here driving this RV now, aren't I?" Sam grinned. "I wonder if Carly's little crush on you has faded now that we're gone."

"Well, she actually just posted on Splashface saying that she hopes we'll come back, but she's happy for us." Freddie said, looking at his PearPhone. "She also said to have fun wherever we are."

"Carly doesn't even know that we're in a whole nother country!" Sam said, chuckling.

"We'll be back in a couple months." Freddie smiled. "You're still sure you want to do this?"

"Too late now, Fredward." Sam rolled her eyes. "But yes, Mama's liking this trip."

"Probably because you got to buy an RV." Freddie crossed his arms, but was still smiling.

"You know that's not true, Frednub. Use that big brain of yours." Sam said.

"So you think I'm smart?" Freddie asked.

"No shit, Freddumb." Sam replied, exiting the highway.

"Food?" Freddie guessed.

"Yes, food!" Sam grinned. "Hey! There's an amusement park here too!"

"Maybe we'll hit it tomorrow." Freddie said. "There isn't enough time to go today, and we've been driving all day."

"We are going tomorrow." Sam said. Freddie rolled his eyes.

Sam pulled into the parking lot of an Inside-Out-Burger. To her surprise, the drive-thru was empty and she walked into it.

"Sam, why are you walking in the drive-thru?" Freddie asked.

"Because I want to!" Sam shouted back at Freddie.

"Welcome to Inside-Out-Burger, what can I get you today?" The cashier asked. It sounded like an elderly woman with an English accent.

"One Double Trouble meal and a Nacho Cheese salad." Sam said, not bothering to say please.

"Can I get you anything else?" The cashier offered.

"Did I _ask_ for anything else?" Sam retorted.

"That'll be $6.32 at the second window." The cashier said.

Sam took a twenty dollar bill from her pocket and walked to the second window. The cashier looked familiar to Sam, but she didn't notice her name tag.

"That'll be-" The cashier said, "$6.32..."

Sam handed her the money, received her change, and took the food. The cashier's nametag read "MARTHA".

"Did you go to the park? " Martha asked, smiling.

"We probably will tomorrow, uh...Martha." Sam replied.

"Make sure you watch out for drunken people!" Martha warned.

"Thanks, I'll be sure to." Sam said. "Bye." Sam walked the other way back out of the drive-thru and back to Freddie. Martha waved.

"Well, that was interesting." Sam said.

"How?" Freddie questioned.

"Old cashier lady with wrinkles." Sam explained. "She was pretty cheerful, I guess."

"What'd you guys talk about?" Freddie inquired, genuinely curious.

"How do you know we talked about anything?" Sam questioned.

"You were gone for a while, I kinda saw you, and you just told me." Freddie said, shrugging.

"Well, she talked about the amusement park and warned me about drunk people." Sam said.

"Maybe we should take her with us." Freddie suggested.

"To the other side of Canada?" Sam narrowed her eyes, but didn't seem opposed to the idea.

"To the park tomorrow. Let her have some fun." Freddie said.

"I guess I could live with it for a day." Sam responded. "But if she turns out to be like Crazy, you're getting it!"

"Getting laid?" Freddie smirked. Sam slapped him.

"You know what I meant."


	10. Camping

**A/N: Merry Christmas, everyone!**

**Is anybody else having problems with the file upload option in the Doc Manager? It's only actually posting the first line for me. Sam's thoughts are in italics. Again, Merry Christmas!**

* * *

"I was surprised she didn't want to come with us." Freddie said as they walked to their  
RV.

"I'm glad she didn't want to." Sam said.

"You wanted to keep being alone with me." Freddie smirked.

Sam glared at him.

"At least she went on the biggest rollercoaster in the park." Freddie said. "I told you it  
would be worth the wait."

"When do you do all this nubby prepping for all the stops we make?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, when you're sleeping?" Freddie suggested. "You haven't woken up before  
me since we were in Vancouver."

"Yeah, because the other places we've been to sounded lame." Sam said.

"But you ended up loving them." Freddie smiled. "Let's face it, I'm a good planner."

"Shut up, nub." Sam said.

"Looks like you were right about Carly. She posted saying that she's the one I've always  
loved." Freddie chuckled, looking at his PearPhone. "My mom's still freaking out, of  
course."

"What's with all these...pics?" Sam asked, eyeing the poses Carly chose.

"Either she's trying to get me to ditch you and come back, which won't happen, or  
someone hacked into her account and posted them." Freddie replied. "I'm sure Gibby's  
drooling over them."

"Gibby's attracted to her?" Sam asked.

"You didn't notice?" Freddie asked. "He was looking at her a lot more before we left."

"I wish him luck." Sam laughed.

Freddie unlocked the RV, sat at a table with his laptop, and vigorously began typing.

"Are you sending her a virus or something?" Sam asked.

"Maybe." Freddie grinned, dramatically tapping the Enter key. "Done. Every time Carly,  
Spencer, Gibby, or my mom try to post on Splashface, she'll get an error message. They  
won't able to find my IP address."

"Nice work, Fredward!" Sam high fived her boyfriend.

Freddie closed his laptop, leaned back in the seat, and stared forward.

"Uh, Fredwuss?" Sam waved her hand in front of him.

"Yes, Sam?" Freddie asked, looking into her eyes.

"Can we get to the MallMart now?" Sam asked.

Freddie pulled a slip of paper from his pocket and slid it into Sam's hand.

"An RV camp?" Sam asked.

Freddie nodded.

"How do you expect us to-ugh." Sam said. "Only because the others won't be screwing  
around on Splashface anymore." She walked to the driver's seat.

...

After several wrong turns, illegal u-turns, and lots of swearing, Sam and Freddie finally  
made it to the RV campsite.

"Time to watch the sun set." Freddie grinned, pushing the button that controlled the RV's  
power awning.

"Really, Freddumb?" Sam shouted from the bathroom. He ignored her and began to set  
up the table and chairs. The RV's yellow paint and orange stripes glistened in the evening  
sunlight. He took vigorously shook one of the Peppy Cola cans he had taken outside.

"You owe me for this." Sam stated. She had a bucket of fried chicken under each arm.

"I figured I would." Freddie said, cracking open his soda.

As Sam's can clicked open, soda shot out. She dodged the spewing soda before it could  
reach her face. Freddie took off running across the campsite.

Sam let out a battle cry and ran off in pursuit, and she eventually caught her boyfriend.  
Sam devised a plan to get Freddie back after she dragged him back to the RV.

"You deserve this..." Sam said darkly. She poured all of Freddie's peppy cola onto his  
face, and luckily he closed his eyes in anticipation.

"Alright, alright!" Freddie shouted, laughing.

"Go get two more cans, and don't do that again, nub." Sam said. "Mama wants to eat."

"I know not to interrupt that again..." Freddie remarked as he entered the RV.

Sam and Freddie shared a fun conversation, laughing as they reminisced about past  
moments together.

"Time for bed, Sammy." Freddie said.

"Carry me." Sam said, holding out her arms.

Freddie rolled his eyes and picked up his girlfriend. He let her down in the back of the RV  
for her to get changed while he put the furniture away and retracted the awning.

_I wonder if he'll propose to me on this trip. He'll have plenty of opportunities to in the_  
_future._

_Spending the rest of my life with the nub wouldn't be so bad._


	11. Extension

"Do you _really_ want to do the cooking again, Freddumb?" Sam smirked.

"It's not my fault I burned myself!" Freddie defended. "You told me the water wasn't hot!"

"Eh, I tell people a lot of things." Sam shrugged.

Freddie rolled his eyes. "Do you want to go on to Saskatoon or go south to Calgary?"  
Freddie asked his girlfriend. "I heard they're big on winter sports in Calgary."

"Saskatoon is an even dumber name than Kamloops, so drive us to Calgary, nub."

"I don't think I should drive because _somebody_ burned my arm!" Freddie said.

"Ugh, fine. Let your stupid arm heal." Sam said. "You're driving an extra three hours when  
we go toe Sassaton or whatever it was."

"It's Saskatoon, Sam." Freddie corrected. "Wait, how'd you know that Calgary's three  
hours from Edmonton?" Have you, Sam Puckett, been planning?"

"We both know that only you-" Sam started, but Freddie cut her off.

"Ha! You have been planning!" Freddie said, reading off the notes app on Sam's  
PearPhone. "A full itinerary for today!"

"Give me that." Sam said, snatching her phone and walking back to the oven to finish  
breakfast. Freddie noticed that her cheeks flushed a faint shade of pink.

"You know, we could be on the road if you would just-"

"No, Sam!"

...

"Sasha got a job reviewing new video games for WGN." Freddie read Sasha's  
Splashface post.

"She'll probably like it." Sam said, changing lanes to pass a slow dump truck.

"Wow, I feel bad for the people on the other side of the road." Freddie said, glancing at  
the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the opposite side of the highway.

"Thank God we're not going that way." Sam said. "That reminds me, if we're gonna go  
straight to Massachusetts for school, we're gonna have to drive a little bit in the US to get  
there. Like in Maine and New Hampshire and shit."

"Newfoundland extends past Maine, so if we'd have to come back through if we fully tour  
the province. That would lead us into New Brunswick, then we'd tour Nova Scotia, and  
then we'd go back into the US into Maine."

"Dude, that's a lot of driving!" Sam said.

"We'll figure out what we're going to do in Quebec." Freddie said.

"Don't people speak French there or something?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I think it's one of their official languages."

"Which one will be the busiest?" Sam asked. "If we hit heavy traffic, you're driving."

"Probably Ontario followed by Quebec." Freddie said. "There's actually another set of  
provinces north of here, but they're really cold and I don't think we'll have enough time to  
go to all of them before school starts."

"We can try, right?" Sam asked.

"We'll go over a map later." Freddie said.

...

"What's your plan?" Freddie asked. The couple was now in a MallMart outside of Calgary.  
He pulled up Zaplook Maps on his Pearbook.

"Well, why don't we keep going the way we're going and come back through to Manitoba  
or whatever this is. Then we could go north into the one with all these islands, to the  
Northwest Territories and the Yukon, and go back to British Columbia. We'll drop right  
back into Seattle and take Carly with us to that entertainment school she's going to near  
MIT and my school."

"That's a pretty complicated route, but it'll be fun." Freddie grinned, giving Sam a quick  
kiss.

"So you think we could do it?" Sam asked.

"We have a bit of money with us and plenty in the bank, so I think we could manage."  
Freddie smiled.

Sam brought her lips to his, and they made out for several minutes.

...


	12. Stolen

"I can't believe you beat me." Sam moaned.

"Maybe I'm just a good snowboarder." Freddie said. "That last hill wasn't for the faint of  
heart."

"Don't rub it in, Freddoofus!" Sam said, whacking his shoulder.

"Ahh...let's get some B.F. Wangs." Freddie sugested, rubbing his now bruised shoulder.

"Hey, have we even gotten any souvenirs?" Sam asked.

"I have gotten at least one thing from-hey! Our car is gone!" Freddie realized.

"Dammit...did you leave anything valuable in there?"

"Nope, my laptop and everything is still in the RV." Freddie said, breathing a sigh of relief.  
"Well, looks like we're walking back to the RV."

"More like you're carrying me back." Sam corrected.

"Oh, fine."

...

"Hopefully whoever stole our car didn't see us drive in town." Freddie said.

"Why?"

"They would've had to notice the RV, and would probably steal it too."

"Do you think we should buy another car?" Sam asked her boyfriend. "I could do without  
having to worry about one."

"Of course you could." Freddie chuckled. "Alright, I guess we'll carry on without a car. We  
can always walk around town."

"Too bad I wasn't able to plant anything in there for the guys who stole it..." Sam  
muttered.

...

_**-Meanwhile in Seattle-**_

"Did they ever tell you where they are or when they're coming back?" Marissa asked.

"No, they're almost positive you'll come and ruin their trip." Carly replied.

"You know, this is all your fault!" Marissa shouted at Carly.

"My fault!?" Carly asked, her voice rising.

"If you hadn't developed that little crush on my Fredward, he'd still be here right now!"  
Marissa said angrily. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but Samantha is better suited for him  
than you are!"

"What!?" Carly yelled. "He'd be happier with me! I have way more than Sam!"

"Only because you always get everything you want!" Marissa shouted back. "You got mad  
because you didn't get your way when you realized Fredward was in a relationship with  
Samantha!"

"But he should've realized that I was the better choice!" Carly responded, still angry.

The overprotective mother and prissy teenage girl continued to argue. Little did they  
know, a certain shirtless teenage boy was catching it all on camera.

_**-Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada-**_

"Wow, I am beat." Freddie said. "Nice driving there."

"I'm always better at driving than you." Sam boasted. "You drive like a grandma."

"I do not!" Freddie denied.

"You wouldn't go over 55 on the highway!" Sam reminded.

"Yeah, and _you_ went 85!" Freddie replied. "But I guess I could go a little faster..."

"That'd be great, baby." Sam said, kissing his lips. "This is a cool camp." Sam  
commented.

"Yeah, there's so many amenities here!" Freddie agreed.

Sam did not respond.

"Sam?"

"Sam?"

Freddie soon realized why she wasn't answering. She was gaping at the trailer across the  
path from them, which was engulfed in flames.

...


	13. Firefight

**Happy 2014 everyone!**

...

Sam tore the keys to the RV from Freddie's hand and dragged him inside. A few seconds  
later the engine revved to life, and the large yellow and orange vehicle roared out of its  
parking space toward the other side of the skidded to a stop, ruining the grass.

After Freddie got his bearings again, he leapt into action, getting a large fire extinguisher.

Sam watched as her boyfriend ran off toward the burinng trailer. The flames were  
spreading to the truck attached to it. She grabbed an extinguisher and took off as well.

Freddie was already dousing the base of the flames when she reached the site, just like  
his mother had taught him.

"How many extinguishers are on the RV?" Freddie shouted over the noise of the flames  
and extinguishers.

"Not sure." Sam answered. After several more minutes of fighting the fire, Freddie's  
extinguisher gave out. He jogged back to find another one.

"Why hasn't the fire department come yet?" Freddie asked himself as he hastily searched  
the RV.

He came across a flyer on top of a stack of campsite brochures he had insisted on  
picking up earlier. They had also taken pictures together at the places they had visited,  
and Freddie snapped a quick photo of the fire.

"Tonight's bar night..." Freddie said to himself, reading the colorful flyer. "All of the other  
campers are adult couples taking vacations, and they're all having beers!"

He found two more fire extinguishers and returned to the trailer, just as Sam's  
extinguisher ran out of foam.

"Where the hell is the fire department?" Sam asked frantically, taking another  
extinguisher and pulling the pin.

"I'm calling them now." Freddie answered, stepping away.

"Hello, I need the fire department at 1318 Maple Road." Freddie said.

"There's a truck and trailer on fire." Freddie said. Sam was listening to the conversation.

"Thank you." Freddie said sincerely, tapping the end button on his PearPhone.

"They're on their way." He informed.

Sam didn't reply and both teens continued to fight the flames.

One minute later, two fire trucks arrived and took over. Sam and Freddie retreated to their  
70's motor home.

"Good job out there." Sam said.

"You too." Freddie replied, washing his hands. "Wanna...shower together?"

"Sure, why not? We need to get all this ash off us." Sam answered.

They heard knocking. A fireman was standing ouside. Freddie gave Sam an 'I'll handle it.'  
look.

"Uh...hello." Freddie greeted the dirty fireman.

"The owners of the affected vehicles have been notified. Unfortunately, they had no  
insurance, so they won't be getting any money toward new camping equipment. We are  
going to have to ask you to leave the camp."

"That's fine with us." Freddie responded, understandingly. Sam stood within earshot of  
the two men.

"Thank you for your efforts in putting out this fire." The fireman said. "Here are some  
medals for you. Goodbye, and thanks again."

The fireman walked away, and Freddie gave Sam her medal.

"He'd better be glad he gave us these." Sam said. "I didn't fight a huge fire for nothing!"

Freddie rolled his eyes and stripped to his boxers.

He shook his head when he noticed Sam staring.

...


	14. Broken

"It was just a laptop!" Sam shouted.

"Yeah, and the latest Pearbook!" Freddie retorted. The couple was having a morning breakfast in their RV before leaving Saskatoon.

"You think I messed it up on purpose?" Sam asked, beginning to feel hurt.

"Well, no, but you could've been more careful." Freddie said. "I've told you not to use it while eating or drinking."

"I was just checking Splashface!" Sam retorted.

"That's not the point, Sam." Freddie said.

"Then what is?" Sam shouted.

"You need to be more careful around electronics!" Freddie said.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Sam declared. She had forgotten that Freddie's Pearphone was in her pants pocket.

About a minute later, she heard a splash. Her eyes widened when she realized what had happened. His phone slipped out of her pocket.

"Well, I can't hide it from him..." Sam said to herself. She thought about keeping it a secret, but decided it would be bad for the relationship. She would just tell him outright.

"Freddie..." Sam said after coming out of the bathroom.

"Sam?" Freddie answered, taking apart the keyboard on his now broken Pearbook.

"Uh...your phone fell out of my pocket in the bathroom." Sam said truthfully.

"Th-that's okay, Sam." Freddie said. "I was due for a new one anyway."

"You're not mad?" Sam asked.

"No."

"Then why were you mad about the Pearbook?"

"Because it was pretty much brand new." Freddie said. "But accidents happen, and I should've realized that. I'm sorry for shouting at you."

"I'm...sorry too." Sam said. "I just told you about the phone because I didn't want to ruin our relationship."

Freddie, who was sitting in a chair, pulled Sam into his lap.

"You did the right thing, Sam." Freddie said.

"I like doing the wrong thing better." Sam admitted.

Freddie laughed. "You may, but I'm still glad you told me about the phone. We'll just go to the Pear Store in Winnipeg and we'll buy new phones and laptops."

"Laptops?" Sam said, emphasizing the s.

"Yes, laptops." Freddie smiled. Sam pulled his head to hers and passionately kissed him.

Freddie deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into Sam's mouth. Unsurprisingly, Sam won the tongue dominance battle. Her hands slowly traveled down his chest and to his shirt, where she began lifting. They broke apart for a second so that he could finish removing the shirt.

Freddie began slipping Sam's shirt off, but she stopped him. He immediately looked concerned, as if he'd done something wrong.

"Relax, it's just...I don't have a bra on." Sam's face flushed pink."But you can keep your shirt off."

"How did I know you'd say that?" Freddie chuckled. Sam smiled. For once, she sat up front with him instead of sitting at a table eating.

"Where's the Pear Store again?" Sam asked as Freddie fired up the RV.

"Winnipeg, Manitoba." Freddie said.

"What the chiz is up with all these names?" Sam asked, eating a strip of bacon. "They're all weird."

"I've always thought Manitoba was a cool name." Freddie said.

"What a surprise."

...

"That Pear Store was jank." Sam said.

"It was." Freddie replied. "At least we got everything we needed though. Two Pearbooks, two PearPhones, and some gift cards."

"You must have a decent wad of cash in the bank." Sam said, drinking some Peppy Cola. "Still makin' eight bucks a month?"

Freddie didn't say anything, and Sam began laughing.

"I've talked to her about it!" Freddie defended.

"I'm not surprised she hasn't agreed to give you more cash." Sam said.

"Sam, you can't just drop your can anywhere you want to." Freddie said. "That's littering."

"It's only one more can dropped on the ground." Sam shrugged. Freddie picked up the can and disposed of it in a nearby recycling bin.

"Well, we've pretty much ruined our schedule for today." Freddie said. He noticed Sam's face fall. Freddie gave her a 'we already went over this.' look.

"Any pools around?" Sam asked.

"You just want to see me shirtless." Freddie smirked. "And wet."

"Like I'd ever want to see your nerdy body." Sam said.

Freddie gave her a look.

"Alright, I want to see you shirtless and wet!" Sam admitted. "But I still want to go swimming!"

"There's a pool west of here." Freddie told Sam. "Looks like my mom is trying to force us to come back."

"Lemme see." Sam leaned over Freddie to look at his new phone.

"She'll speak at our wedding?" Sam asked, confused.

"You know, 'speak now or forever hold your peace'." Freddie explained.

"If we eloped, we wouldn't have that problem." Sam said.

"Oh, so you're saying you want to marry me?" Freddie smirked.

Sam blushed, and Freddie wrapped an arm around her.

"Don't worry, I want to marry you too." He said.

"Do you think we should get married on this trip?" Sam asked. "Your mom's reaction would be pretty funny."

"I'll give it some thought." Freddie said. "Which province would you want to elope in?"

"Not one where we'd have to wait long."

"Not in Ontario then."

"And I don't want any super specific laws preventing us from marrying."

"Quebec's out."

"It would be nice if it were at least a little warm too."

"None of the northern provinces are that warm." Freddie said. "Same for the far east ones."

"So without going back, that leaves...here?" Sam asked.

"I guess so." Freddie said.

"When will you decide?" Sam asked.

"After we go swimming." He answered.

...


	15. The One with the Wedding

"I told you I'd win more races!" Sam said.

"I almost-" Freddie started.

"Yeah yeah, you almost won the last one, and if you had, you would've beat me." Sam finished.

"I still would've!" Freddie defended. "I won the ones I did win because you couldn't stop staring at my body!"

"It's not my fault your body is so...sexy." Sam mumbled. "It's not like you weren't staring at me!"

"Good choice on a black bikini." Freddie grinned. Sam punched his still naked shoulder. He groaned in response.

"You can buy me some Cheesecake Warehouse, where we'll talk about what we did earlier." Sam directed her eyes away from Freddie's.

"Alright, let's get some food here and we'll go to Cheesecake Warehouse." Freddie said.

They walked up to a turquoise shack, and Freddie spoke to the middle aged female cashier.

"Hey, what can I get you?" The cashier looked at Freddie, asking the question in a seductive voice.

"Can I get six orders of bacon?" Freddie asked, trying to be polite.

"Sure thing, honey." The cashier smiled, slowly turning around.

"Make it quick, lady." Sam rudely told the brunette cashier.

The clerk eventually finished all six orders of Canadian bacon, and now it was time to pay.

"The register's broken." The clerk said. "You'll have to...come back here."

Freddie was led behind the counter by the clerk, and he paid. The clerk leaned in to kiss him, but Sam used one of her many defensive tactics and caused her to collapse.

"Quick, let's get out of here before she wakes up." Sam said.

The teenage couple rushed to their 70's American RV and they tore out of the facility.

"I hope I never have to experience a cougar again." Freddie said once he was settled in.

"She was worse than Martha!" Sam agreed.

"Only because she was hitting on me." Freddie smirked.

"She looked terrible!" Sam said.

"Uh-huh."

"Just take us to the Cheesecake Warehouse.

...

"So, did you...come to a decision?" Sam asked. They each had gotten dressed in the RV, as they wanted it to be a 'formal' dinner.

"Did you?"

"I asked you first."

"Well, I do want to marry you, and there's no point in waiting if you've already met the person for you."

Sam blushed. "Being a wife would feel good..."

Much to Sam's surprise, Freddie got down on one knee and removed a small box from his pocket, revealing a simple gold ring.

"Samantha Joy Puckett, will you marry me?"

The entire restaurant went silent.

"Yes, Fredward. I'll marry you."

Freddie put the ring on Sam's finger, kissed her passionately, and picked her up.

Freddie asked for takeout boxes and they newly engaged couple left the Cheesecake Warehouse.

Sam and Freddie sat up front together, with him driving. Neither could stop smiling.

"Now I won't have to worry about cougars hitting on me anymore." Freddie said.

Sam chuckled. "True that. What's our next stop?"

"To get our marriage license. We'll have to stay in Winnipeg until we elope." Freddie said.

"Do you have all the paperwork and chiz?" Sam asked. "I've got my birth certificate, and some old test results. Won't we have to wait a while for a marriage license though?"

"You sure know a lot about this." Freddie smirked. "I called up a guy that can get us one with just a few signatures."

"Well, get moving!" Sam said, excited.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Freddie shook his head.

"I don't think we'll need any super fancy clothes or anything. Just what we're wearing now." Sam said. "Does the guy you called have a location?"

"We'll be eloping in a small church not far from here." He said. "We can go out and get rings tomorrow."

"Telling the others that we're married will be fun." Sam said. Freddie grinned.

...

Sam, Freddie, the minister, and a custodian who would record the wedding were the only ones in the church. Both Sam and Freddie were nervous, but were happy that this moment had come.

"And now the couple will recite their vows." The minister said. "Let's start with Fredward."

Freddie looked Sam in the eye and began. "Sam, we began as enemies, progressed to close friends, boyfriend and girlfriend, and now we're finally tying the knot. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with any other girl. I can't wait for what happens in the future."

"Beautiful, Fredward. And now, Samantha will recite her vow."

"If someone told me we'd be getting married when we were little, I would've punched them until they bled. When we had our first kisses with each other, I developed a crush on you or something. I didn't realize I had until a long time after, but I still can't believe I'm here with you. Spending the rest of my life with you wouldn't be so bad."

Freddie smiled and the custodian brought out the rings, which were also gold and simple.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace." The minister said. It was obvious that nobody would speak, but they wanted to show this moment to their friends back in Seattle later.

"Then by the power vested in me by the province of Manitoba, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.

The minister clapped as they kissed.

The newlyweds savored the feeling for a few moments, thanked the minister and custodian, and left.

"I can't believe it." Freddie smiled.

"Yeah, I now have the nerdiest husband in the world." Sam grinned.

"But the perfect husband." Freddie said.

"Let's just get these clothes off." Sam said.

They changed in front of each other inside.

"How about we go out tonight?" Freddie asked his new wife.

"Where?" Sam inquired.

"I heard about a high end place a few miles away." Freddie said. "You don't have to dress up."

"Do they have meat?" Sam asked.

"Yes, Sam. I made sure that we'd go to a place with meat." Freddie chuckled.

"Good boy."

...

**_-Meanwhile in Seattle-_**

"Please, it's urgent!" Marissa begged to a police officer.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. They are legal adults, so we cannot look for them. They also willingly left according to Ms. Shay, which is another reason why we will not track Mr. Benson and Ms. Puckett."

Marissa glared at Carly.

"Do you have any idea where they could've went?" Marissa pleaded.

"No, ma'am. It is best to let them be and hope they return." The officer said.

Marissa sighed.

"They'll come back soon enough." Spencer said.

Carly, Marissa, and Gibby gave him looks.

"Okay, maybe not Sam. Freddie could convince her to come back with him." Spencer added.

"I hope so." Marissa said.

**_-Winnipeg, Manitoba-_**

"I don't think I can eat anymore." Sam groaned as they walked to the RV.

"That's a first." Freddie laughed.

"I'm going to bed." Sam yawned.

"I'll drive us back to camp, and then I'll join you." Freddie said.

"How many beds does this thing have?" Sam asked, getting out her PJ's.

"Six, I think?" Freddie said.

Soon enough, they were back at camp and sound asleep.

...

"Wow, you actually slept in with me." Sam managed a small smile.

"Thought we could leave a few hours later." Freddie replied.

"You have a bad case of morning breath." Sam grimaced.

Freddie rolled his eyes and remained in the bed. He turned on the TV.

"All traffic eastbound out of Winnipeg is stopped due to a crash." The anchor said. "The estimated travel time out of Winnipeg is 4 hours."

"What else can we do here?" Sam asked.

"We could always...stay in bed..." Freddie suggested.

"You woke me up in the middle of the night to do that, Fredward." Sam rolled her eyes.

"You can't say you didn't enjoy it." Freddie smirked.

"Okay, so I did. But Mama's still a little worn out." Sam said.

Freddie accidentally laid on the TV remote, turning the volume up again. Before he could speak, the news anchor started.

"Police have arrested a woman accused of harassing young men. She is being held on bond." The picture showed the cougar that approached Freddie earlier.

"Glad she's in jail." Freddie said.

"They should take her to Troubled Waters." Sam commented.

"I'm sure there are mental health facilities near Winnipeg, Sam." Freddie said.

"Dude, you totally missed the joke." Sam said.

"Oh."

"Do you think our marriage will last?" Sam asked, serious.

"I know that young marriages don't usually last long, but if we are...faithful to each other and don't cheat, we should be okay." Freddie answered, wrapping an arm around Sam. "I love you."

"I love you too." Sam said, sighing.

"Now that I think of it, Carly would be the one to cheat." Freddie said.

"Where in your nerdy little head did you get that?" Sam asked.

"Well, even though she was cheated on before, she always has to get her way. Just like with me. She was furious when we left because she wanted me to herself, and she didn't get me. It'll probably be even worse when we tell her we're married, but then she'll comfort herself by thinking our marriage won't last." Freddie replied.

"That's a lot of thinking." Sam said. "Only something you'd do."

Freddie rolled his eyes, and got up.

"We've got a 7 hour drive to Thunder Bay, Ontario." Freddie said. "We can alternate every 2 hours."

"Fine." Sam yawned, rolling out of the bed.

"Thunder Bay sounds like a place that you'd like." Freddie said, changing into a T-shirt and shorts.

"Thunder." Sam repeated, smiling.

Freddie shook his head and began to make up the bed, while Sam started making breakfast.

"We'll probably get there around 10:00 including breakfast and all your stops." Freddie smirked.

"You said we need souvenirs!" Sam reminded.

"I was taking care of that until you picked the one out here." Freddie defended.

"I have my own collection of souvenirs." Sam said, showing Freddie a bag from British Columbia filled with items from the other provinces.

"How'd you-"

"I knew you'd remember to get them, but I figured we should have some for each other. It might add to the reactions when we get back too."

"That probably will happen." Freddie replied.

"Wait until they see the RV." Sam smiled, sliding Freddie's plate onto the table.

"My mom will probably faint when she sees our wedding rings." He chuckled as Sam sat down.

"And then she'll say that it won't last." Sam responded.

"It will." Freddie grabbed her hand.

Sam smiled at her husband.

**_-Meanwhile, in Seattle-_**

"Stolen?" Marissa said frantically. "My son's car was stolen?"

"Yes. We have no way to find out where the vehicle was stolen from, but it was found abandoned in Montana." The officer on the phone said. "Would you like to have it towed to your residence?"

"Yes, I'd like to have it brought here please." Marissa nodded. "You have no way to find out where the car was stolen?"

"That's correct." The officer said.

"Well, thank you." Marissa said, hanging up the phone.

...


End file.
